Indeed this time of year is symbolic for reflecting on our past and setting our intention into the future!
But let me ask you this.
How many times/years have you made new years resolutions in the past that you never lived up to?
Don’t feel bad, you’re not alone!
Did you know that over 88% of all new years resolutions fail?
And an even more staggering statistic is that most people will quit on their new years resolutions before the end of January!
And the truth is I can give you lots of valid reasons why people not only don’t reach but actually stop pursuing their new years resolutions.
And the simple answer is this…
Their new years resolutions are meaningless to them!
You see, we tend to chase all these superficial wants at the expense of what the heart truly desires and this creates a major disconnect between the psyche and heart which then influences our behaviors and actions in a way that doesn’t support our well intended efforts.
For instance, you want to lose weight (in your mind) but your body resists the very thought of doing anything that the process entails. Instead of the process being liberating and fulfilling it feels rigid, daunting and insulting which leads to a common outcome – quitting.
In our heads we may know what we want or need to do but in our hearts we dread the task of doing it or getting it and so we find a way out.
Because there is no excitement in pursuing such lifeless goals, we tend to back off the moment we’re presented an opportunity to escape the mundane.
Here is why…
In practical psychology they say that we have two primary ‘spiritual needs’ one of which is ‘GROWTH’. And when we don’t meet this need on a regular basis, we suffer. We lose all motivation and sometimes may even get depressed as a result of misalignment in our goals/wants and desires!
Since the heart and the ‘higher self’ desire to grow, if your goals or ‘new year resolutions’ don’t inspire you and expand who you are as a person, you will always feel unmotivated and discouraged throughout the process and will always struggle moving in the direction of reaching those goals.
To be inspired is to live in spirit, meaning, to be in alignment with what your heart desires. And when you betray this law all you get is friction, resistance and problems in your attempt of hitting your goals!
The most successful individuals all set goals and and they set very specific goals, but the thing is, their goals mean something to them. It is beyond the desire of attaining something, the pursuit of reaching those goals is an expression of their spirit, the pursuit and all the challenges that it entails makes them come alive, it’s what they crave!
That is why setting goals that inspire you is the only way to reaching that mountain top.
The Problem:
Weight loss and fitness related goals all tend to be somewhat superficial, vane and ego driven which trap you at the lowest level of consciousness and erode your spirit. When this happens you will do anything and everything to escape from this toxic state of being and so you sabotage all of your efforts to meet another ‘human need’ which is to FEEL GOOD!
And for most people the pursuit of those numbers on the scale is anything but pleasant.
This happens all the time! People seem to be doing all the right things but then they always get pulled in the opposite direction. You can think of this as the Mind (EGO) VS. the Heart tug of war – where the HEART always wins!
And so no matter how bad you may want something, if the process of getting there doesn’t fulfill, enhance and grow you as a whole, then you will always find a way to stop the participation (subconsciously). In a way it’s the SPIRIT or The Higher Self protesting. It’s saying that you’re going down the wrong path!
So let’s get real. Setting New Year resolutions has not worked in the past and its probably not going to work this time either – and that’s ok.
Because I have a radically different way of helping you get the most out of 2015.
Here we go…
It’s time ditch the Resolution and start a personal REVOLUTION.
This year instead of setting objective, qualitative goals and stressing over hitting specific milestones along the way, ask yourself a very intimate and engaging question, to which (I must warn you) your life’s journey will become an unfolding answer:
In what way do I want to grow and evolve this year?
OR…
What part of me needs to grow up the most?
As you can see this refined way of aligning yourself with your ultimate desires in such a way that will empower you to integrate those parts of yourself that are currently holding you back and maximize your potential in life.
You’ve tried force, you’ve tried restriction, you’ve tried self hating, self criticizing, self denying, self punishing yourself into change and it has not worked, has it!?
The only way forward is through self acceptance, self love and self compassion.
And it starts with asking yourself such questions that will inspire you to grow and integrate rather than self destruct through measuring your self worth against the goals that you reach or don’t reach!
You must understand that it is your attitude and personality traits that drive your behaviors and decision-making. What spoils your progress on a weight loss program is not a missed workout or a meal that was not part of the plan, it’s when you turn a single meal into a week or a month long binge or when a single missed workout turns into not working out at all. These are all reflections of your attitude and personality and for long term success this is what needs to be addressed!
Trying to control how you behave, as a long-term solution to your weight issues is inane. But if you where to explore the deepest parts of your soul and psyche, results will begin to chase you!
For example, what if instead of eating to calm or distract yourself from life’s problems and challenges you gave yourself permission to face them head on and take responsibility for resolving those events? By taking responsibility and showing up instead of running away from your problems you’ll feel stronger in entryway possible. And as a result you’ll eat less and begin to lose weight without trying to adhere to a diet.
Do you see how this works?
It’s a matter of changing your deeply rooted patterns that are driven by your emotions and attitude.
Make sure to examine yourself with pure integrity and honesty.
Answering these questions honestly will inspire change in a very subtle way. Instead of forcing change upon you from the outside in, this time around change will begin to emerge from within. It’s a very elegant and organic process which will make reaching those ‘surface level’ superficial goals almost effortless. In a way it will feel like those goals and numbers are chasing you.
That is what happens when you stay true to who you are and follow your heart!
You stop struggling and begin thriving!
With all that said, I’m not going to wish you a ‘Happy New Year’.
2015 will be as good as you’re going to make it. The year itself won’t bring you much, you must show up and take charge. The question is are you willing to show up with a higher degree of passion, drive and perseverance to living out your dreams than last year?
May you show up, be present and take action in 2015 – the rest will follow!
That is my ‘wish’ for you friend!
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